"I Ever Compromise My Own Ideals"

"Achara means the outward mode of living and it can change from time to time.  The rules of inner living must remain the same; that is, one should cling to truth, ahimsa, etc.  In trying to follow them, we may change the rules of outward mode of living whenever necessary."  A Letter (G.), Mahadevbhaini Diary, Vol. I, p. 364

When I first read Gandhi many years ago, one of the first changes I made was to give up my car and begin riding my bicycle for transportation.  I felt then, and I still feel today, that in the United States, transportation by automobile is a form of violence.  We fight wars for oil for our cars.  Tens of thousands are killed on our highways, and hundreds of thousands are injured annually.  Our transportation system sub-divides neighbor from neighbor with dead zones of blacktop.  Money that could be spent helping the least among us is spent paving paradise and chrome plates our lives.  More can be added to the list.

For ten years my wife and I lived without a car.  We cycled everywhere we went.  To choose this life in an American city means sacrifices.  Our daily lives were circumscribed by our limited method of transportation.  We were happy with these limits for many years.

And then my life turned in a different direction.  My daughter found out she had a medical condition that precluded her from having children.  For many years I have worked with teenagers.  The prospect of no grandchildren made us rethink our lives.  We decided to become foster parents.  Teenage girls began to come and live in our home.  The foster care system requires trips to family court, to doctors, to therapists, to various and sundry meetings most of which were not in our city, and teenage girls have needs for social lives that are not local.  Being without a car was no longer an option.

We own two now.  The truth of sharing our home with children without homes has supplanted the truth of not owning a car.  I still try and ride my bicycle to the local store and any nearby meetings, but my life now revolves around my girls and not my transportation.

Do I have mixed feelings about this?  Of course, but I am comfortable in this decision.  It's not perfect.  I have had to compromise, but I can live with the compromise.