Parenting Strangers, part 2 - Thugs & Gangsters

First, a fact - better than 30% of the kids that enter high school do not graduate.  It's been that way for a long time.

In the early 90's, I took a job with the City in a youth program that didn't yet exist.  The idea was simple.  Hire kids who had dropped out, were on probation or parole, and give them a job and teach them primary job skills.

Primary job skills are the stuff most of us understand without being taught; how to show up, how to show up on time, how to dress appropriately, how to take instruction from a supervisor, etc.  Stuff we learned because our parents cared enough to send us to school everyday, on time, looking nice, and then asked us in the evening how school went and whether or not we had any homework.  Stuff we learned because our parents had jobs.

We hired four kids and we were lucky.  The first four were bright and wanted a chance to do something with their lives.  They all had rap-sheets as long as your arm and had spent considerable time in juvenile detention.  One of them was arrested and sent to prison along with a couple of his buddies for carjacking and killing an old man after he'd been with us for about six months.  The other three had jobs, one was married, and they were doing well last time I checked.

My job was to take out a work crew and mow all the Fire Department properties in the city.  It's a big city.  There are a lot of Fire Stations ranging in size from half an acre to twenty acres.  That first year was a challenge.  I lead by example.

The program was a success.  After a year, we hired more leaders and more kids and took on new jobs.

The City Management was confused.  We were successful, i.e., our kids stayed out of jail when they were with us and for long afterwords and organization from all over the country were surprised and envious of our success.  But the liability of having large numbers of thugs and gangsters on the city payroll was a strain on their tolerance.

I loved the kids.  But the City Management was horrible.  So bad, I finally quit in the year 2000.

There were other factors; personal issues and a desire to write.

Duck and Cover II

"I must not contemplate darkness before it stares me in the face. And in no case can I be party, irrespective of non-violence, to a universal strike and capture of power.  Though, therefore, I do not know what I should do in the case of a breakdown, I know that the actuality will find me ready with an alternative.  My sole reliance being on the living Power which we call God, He will put the alternative in my hands when the time has come, not a minute sooner." - 'Independence,' Harijan, 28 July 1946 (from The Essential Writings of Mahatma Gandhi edited by Raghavan Iyer)

Since my first air raid drill when I was seven, 1962, ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_tKAg5KIuQ), I have contemplated darkness.  Even a seven year old knew that nuclear war would be apocalyptic.

By the age of seventeen, I didn't believe I would live to be thirty.  Someone would use 'the bomb.'  And not just one bomb, but lots and lots and lots of bombs.

Miracles happen.  'The bomb' has never been used...so far. 

In this country (USA), politicians talk about the 'third rail' of politics (the 'third rail' refers to a dangerous, not-to-be-touched, train rail between the two main rails that provides electricity for subway systems and the like). By that they mean the government provided social safety net that prevents the elderly, the disabled, and children from starving to death or dying from disease.

My country still has thousands of nuclear bombs buried in corn fields in Kansas.  Still has them deep under the oceans in submarines.  Still keeps them loaded on airplanes that are flying at the edge of the go/no-go line.  No one ever talks about the fact that this country is still prepared to destroy the planet on a moments notice.

This is not the third rail of American politics.  This is buried in our backyard.

There I go again, contemplating darkness.

Miracles happen.

I believe with Gandhi, that God will put alternatives in our hands and until then, I must learn to hope and I must work for peace.

"The End of the World as We Know It"

"I hold that he who invented the atom bomb has committed the gravest sin in the world of science.  The only weapon that can save the world is non-violence.  Considering the trend of the world, I might appear a fool to everyone; but I do not feel sorry for it.  I rather consider it a great blessing that God did not make me capable of inventing the atom bomb." - Talk with Englishmen (G.), Biharni Komi Agman, pp. 253-4 (from The Essential Writings of Mahatma Gandhi edited by Raghavan Iyer)

I am not capable of inventing the atom bomb.  I am, however, capable of loading an atom bomb on an airplane, strapping in the pilots, starting the engines, and taxiing the plane out of the bunker it was stored in, and I have done just that.

The birth of my biological daughter and son were paid for because I could do that.  My home loan was cheaper and my loan was guaranteed because I could do that.  My health insurance is paid for because I could do that.  I can be buried in a hero's grave because I did that.

I have practiced the end of the world, many, many times.

At the time, I thought my motives were good.  I was not a patriot protecting my country, I was a husband supporting his family.

I didn't think I had any other options at the time, and I am not ashamed that I made that choice.

But the sin is a heavy weight.

A heavy weight that has opened my eyes to what I believe to be the true path; non-violence.

Self-Purification

"Non-violence implies as complete self-purification as is humanly possible." - "The Greatest Force," Harijan, 12 Oct. 1935 (from The Essential Writings of Mahatma Gandhi edited by Raghavan Iyer)

 I struggle with Gandhi's often puritanical approach to non-violence.  I want to be a better person.  I want to eliminate violence from my life.  I believe in prayer and spiritual growth, but I am not seeking moksha, spiritual release from the cycle of death and reincarnation.  I do not have Gandhi's understanding of what happens after death.  I'm not sure what happens after death.  And I certainly don't want the success or failure of non-violence in the world even slightly dependent on how close to perfection I come.  I am, and I'm afraid I will always be, far, far from perfection.

I believe in a God that can redeem the mistakes I make and the awful tragedies that happen in the world.  Karma, actions and deeds that shape past, present and future events, is not a part of what I believe.

I don't want to be purified.  I'm happy being a muddled human being, fumbling my way through life, trusting that God will take my humble offerings and do something miraculous.  I trust God will do this, because I have seen God do this in the past, and not just in my life, but in the lives of friends and relatives and strangers.

This is not an excuse for laziness or lack of effort or not working on personal growth or any other failure to do whatever it is in my power to do that can help change the world, but I trust that the feebleness of my efforts will not keep God from taking them and multiplying them a thousand fold or ten thousand fold.

I may be wrong.  I will certainly keep asking God to help me overcome my defects of character, my greed, my sloth, my lust, my gluttony, etc., and perhaps God will work miracles in me.   I don't believe that God needs my help, I think God wants my help and that's why God created me as I am, foibles and all.