"I must not contemplate darkness before it stares me in the face. And in no case can I be party, irrespective of non-violence, to a universal strike and capture of power. Though, therefore, I do not know what I should do in the case of a breakdown, I know that the actuality will find me ready with an alternative. My sole reliance being on the living Power which we call God, He will put the alternative in my hands when the time has come, not a minute sooner." - 'Independence,' Harijan, 28 July 1946 (from The Essential Writings of Mahatma Gandhi edited by Raghavan Iyer)
Since my first air raid drill when I was seven, 1962, ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_tKAg5KIuQ), I have contemplated darkness. Even a seven year old knew that nuclear war would be apocalyptic.
By the age of seventeen, I didn't believe I would live to be thirty. Someone would use 'the bomb.' And not just one bomb, but lots and lots and lots of bombs.
Miracles happen. 'The bomb' has never been used...so far.
In this country (USA), politicians talk about the 'third rail' of politics (the 'third rail' refers to a dangerous, not-to-be-touched, train rail between the two main rails that provides electricity for subway systems and the like). By that they mean the government provided social safety net that prevents the elderly, the disabled, and children from starving to death or dying from disease.
My country still has thousands of nuclear bombs buried in corn fields in Kansas. Still has them deep under the oceans in submarines. Still keeps them loaded on airplanes that are flying at the edge of the go/no-go line. No one ever talks about the fact that this country is still prepared to destroy the planet on a moments notice.
This is not the third rail of American politics. This is buried in our backyard.
There I go again, contemplating darkness.
Miracles happen.
I believe with Gandhi, that God will put alternatives in our hands and until then, I must learn to hope and I must work for peace.
Showing posts with label atomic bomb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label atomic bomb. Show all posts
11 April 2011
26 March 2011
"The End of the World as We Know It"
"I hold that he who invented the atom bomb has committed the gravest sin in the world of science. The only weapon that can save the world is non-violence. Considering the trend of the world, I might appear a fool to everyone; but I do not feel sorry for it. I rather consider it a great blessing that God did not make me capable of inventing the atom bomb." - Talk with Englishmen (G.), Biharni Komi Agman, pp. 253-4 (from The Essential Writings of Mahatma Gandhi edited by Raghavan Iyer)
I am not capable of inventing the atom bomb. I am, however, capable of loading an atom bomb on an airplane, strapping in the pilots, starting the engines, and taxiing the plane out of the bunker it was stored in, and I have done just that.
The birth of my biological daughter and son were paid for because I could do that. My home loan was cheaper and my loan was guaranteed because I could do that. My health insurance is paid for because I could do that. I can be buried in a hero's grave because I did that.
I have practiced the end of the world, many, many times.
At the time, I thought my motives were good. I was not a patriot protecting my country, I was a husband supporting his family.
I didn't think I had any other options at the time, and I am not ashamed that I made that choice.
But the sin is a heavy weight.
A heavy weight that has opened my eyes to what I believe to be the true path; non-violence.
I am not capable of inventing the atom bomb. I am, however, capable of loading an atom bomb on an airplane, strapping in the pilots, starting the engines, and taxiing the plane out of the bunker it was stored in, and I have done just that.
The birth of my biological daughter and son were paid for because I could do that. My home loan was cheaper and my loan was guaranteed because I could do that. My health insurance is paid for because I could do that. I can be buried in a hero's grave because I did that.
I have practiced the end of the world, many, many times.
At the time, I thought my motives were good. I was not a patriot protecting my country, I was a husband supporting his family.
I didn't think I had any other options at the time, and I am not ashamed that I made that choice.
But the sin is a heavy weight.
A heavy weight that has opened my eyes to what I believe to be the true path; non-violence.
21 February 2011
I Voted for Richard Nixon, pt. 2
"The stench that comes from that life (politics) has appeared to some to be so suffocating that they came to the conclusion that politics were not for a god-fearing man." Speech at Guildhouse Church, under the auspices of the Franciscan Society, The Guildhouse, 23 Sept. 1931
Not that I'm a god-fearing man (sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not), but the stench does appear to be suffocating.
Even if I ignore the creeps and crumb-bums and ignoramuses who go into politics in this country, even if I ignore present day political policies designed to ensure that tens of thousands of Americans die from automobiles, junk food, toxic air and water, etc., even if I ignore the money that has always swamped our political system and now threatens to drown us all, I can't ignore the guns and bombs.
I have a marksman's medal awarded by the U.S. government for shooting an M-16. I loaded a live nuclear bomb on my airplane in a revetment in Germany, strapped in the pilots, taxied it out, and saluted the end of the world.
My first vote was for a crook, a criminal. My last vote (Barack Obama) was for (sigh) just another politician.
But I have hope that things can change.
Not that I'm a god-fearing man (sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not), but the stench does appear to be suffocating.
Even if I ignore the creeps and crumb-bums and ignoramuses who go into politics in this country, even if I ignore present day political policies designed to ensure that tens of thousands of Americans die from automobiles, junk food, toxic air and water, etc., even if I ignore the money that has always swamped our political system and now threatens to drown us all, I can't ignore the guns and bombs.
I have a marksman's medal awarded by the U.S. government for shooting an M-16. I loaded a live nuclear bomb on my airplane in a revetment in Germany, strapped in the pilots, taxied it out, and saluted the end of the world.
My first vote was for a crook, a criminal. My last vote (Barack Obama) was for (sigh) just another politician.
But I have hope that things can change.
22 January 2011
Duck & Cover
In 1962, I was in the 2nd grade in south Denver, Colorado. We started having Air Raid Drills during school. (Much later in life a I put together the facts. Cuban Missile Crisis and a big mountain in southern Colorado that housed NORAD.) The drills scared me. I dreamed of tiny planes dropping black bombs on my school. The Cold War was in full swing.
Somewhere during my early teens, I started thinking about atomic bombs. We had thousands. The Soviets had thousands. It seemed clear to me that if you exploded that many hydrogen bombs on the surface of the planet that it would probably destroy the atmosphere. Nuclear Winter became a popular concept some years later.
And when had we as a species not used a weapon in a war. And when had there not been another war.
I didn't think I would live to 30. If the balloon went up, I intended to sit on the roof of my house and watch the incoming missiles.
In 1977, my wife was pregnant and I was a college drop out with no marketable skills. I joined the Air Force. They made me an F-4E Crew Chief. My name was spray painted on the left side of the front cockpit. I followed my "aerospace vehicle" to Germany for an exercise. In a concrete revetment, on the final day of the exercise. We loaded a live nuclear bomb on my plane. We'd loaded lots of dummies during exercises in the states, but here in Germany, a man with a gun guarded us at all times. I started the engines and taxied my plane out of the bunker and saluted the pilots and prepared for the end of the world.
A month later I was baptized. I believed we as a species needed a miracle to survive. I only knew one place to look for a miracle.
In the early '90's, I became involved with a bunch of Episcopal Radicals. They talked about non-violence. I didn't know what that meant, so I started reading. Being a small "f" fundamentalist, I went back to Gandhi.
I've lost my way over the intervening years. I'm going back to Gandhi.
Join me.
Somewhere during my early teens, I started thinking about atomic bombs. We had thousands. The Soviets had thousands. It seemed clear to me that if you exploded that many hydrogen bombs on the surface of the planet that it would probably destroy the atmosphere. Nuclear Winter became a popular concept some years later.
And when had we as a species not used a weapon in a war. And when had there not been another war.
I didn't think I would live to 30. If the balloon went up, I intended to sit on the roof of my house and watch the incoming missiles.
In 1977, my wife was pregnant and I was a college drop out with no marketable skills. I joined the Air Force. They made me an F-4E Crew Chief. My name was spray painted on the left side of the front cockpit. I followed my "aerospace vehicle" to Germany for an exercise. In a concrete revetment, on the final day of the exercise. We loaded a live nuclear bomb on my plane. We'd loaded lots of dummies during exercises in the states, but here in Germany, a man with a gun guarded us at all times. I started the engines and taxied my plane out of the bunker and saluted the pilots and prepared for the end of the world.
A month later I was baptized. I believed we as a species needed a miracle to survive. I only knew one place to look for a miracle.
In the early '90's, I became involved with a bunch of Episcopal Radicals. They talked about non-violence. I didn't know what that meant, so I started reading. Being a small "f" fundamentalist, I went back to Gandhi.
I've lost my way over the intervening years. I'm going back to Gandhi.
Join me.
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